A little Bit Stronger

OK so I have to admit that I have a weakness. This weakness has burdened me for too many years. I'm sure many of you will be able to relate to this. My burden is.....shocker...a man! Well if that is what you would call him. He is basically the most selfish and damaged person I have ever met. Unfortunately I have been addicted to him for over 8 years. I have felt this gravitational pull towards him and have never been able to figure out why I just can't walk away, when he has never offered me anything worth my time. In all the years that I have listened to his problems and fixed his life, he has only brought me one thing; heartache!

Now I promise this blog is not about me venting (although this does feel really good). I am actually writing about a song that spoke to me today. I have a feeling that there are many people who have shared my experience or feelings towards some man in their life. If this is the case, and you have been working hard to move past him, you need to listen to the song "A Little Bit Longer," by Sara Evans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4f3c8wC8Qs

This song gives us hope. Some days I feel so stupid for letting him slip back into my life and break my heart again. I get so down on myself for being weak, that my heartache is no longer about him. It is in me being disappointed in myself. I get mad because I didn't say, "no" to him and walk away. My frustration is not with him, it's with myself for allowing him to waltz back into my life and make me question my worth and desirability. This song tells me that even when I am at my weakest moment with him and I'm crying over his text message or thinking of him while listening to a song, I am still getting a little bit stronger. I need to be proud of every stride I make in the opposite direction of him. Because each stride away from him, takes me towards someone real. This song makes it OK to admit that this person has impacted your life. This person has made his way into your heart and will forever have changed the way it feels. I find myself trying to make excuses for how I feel and say that it was nothing and I am stupid for ever feeling that way and that soon I will feel nothing for him, when deep down I can feel that he meant something real to me. I appreciate that this song validates those feelings, even when he may have not respected them.

I hope this song can do for you what it has done for me. It reminded me how strong I am and that there comes a time when this pain gets easier and that no matter how many times I may feel like I have stepped back into that torturous place I am still getting stronger. Every day I am getting closer to being free of self-doubt and closer to being in the right place emotionally for my true love to find me!